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And He'll Always Have Apart Of Me
Imagine my disappointment when I cut this watermelon in half

the-otaku-club:

gostatisfy:

image


OH GOD THIS IS HILARIOUS
IM SO GLAD I STOPPED SCROLLING

things ive heard people say in class:

cafetivity:

  • “what if i just straight up break down in class and scare the shit out of ms neo so that she’ll postpone the test?”
  • “is it too early if i have a breakdown in january?” “its the second week, man.” “i know.” 
  • “let’s all just collectively skip the national exams, fuck the system!” *aggressive cheering*
  • in a really choked up voice, “i have rights.”
  • “what if i become a monk? do monks have to take exams?”
  • “in this context, what does ‘rapid’ mean?” “FAST AND FURIOUS”
  • “did y’all do the chem homework?” *collective ‘no’s* “alright, good. nobody be a wimp and do their homework, alright? if we’re fucked, we’re all fucked together.”
  • “wait, you mean to say that this school still teach fun stuff like music??
  • *scandalised gasp* “you stole my circle template’s virginity!” “all i did was hook a finger through one of the holes!” “exactly!” 
  • “i bought this $2 knee guard just because i want to pretend that i’m injured so that i can sit out of PE.” [slides knee guard on] “i have three consecutive tests after this and lord knows i need all the extra study time that i can get.”
  • in an increasingly panicked voice, “i can’t just do my lit homework in 30mins!” “well, i did.” “what did you put for characterisation and further analysis?” “i said the protagonist was a fuckboy, and then proceeded to write 3 paragraphs and a conclusion consisting of utter bullshit on why he’s a fuckboy.”
  • “don’t they call people from Germany, germanese?” said by a top student.
  • “i think i’m a hermaphrodite.”
  • “fuck, i hate this. can i just be an escort? or have like 67 sugar daddies?”
  • in the middle of physics class: “i’m leaving, i’m fucking leaving. i’m going down to the canteen to buy takeouts of 3 fishball noodles. y’all want anything?”
  • “i want the saddest pepe the frog meme you can find as our class logo.”
  • “i found a salsa dip in my bag, anyone have some chips?” [a girl sighs, puts down her calculator and reaches into her sports bag] “i do.”

bogleech:

exeggcute:

satire is “I’m going to take this concept to an extreme or absurd level in order to demonstrate how bizarre/nonsensical/illogical it is” and not “I said something bigoted but just kidding I didn’t really mean it hahaha”

Dang it I’ve written like 5000 words trying to explain this and I only needed this post to reblog

bigsavefurniture:

my biggest insecurity is that i cant cartwheel. what do i do when im full with glee? just fuckin stand there, it haunts me everyday

  • *looks at clock*
  • Me: Crap. I have to be somewhere in six hours. Time to start psyching myself up.
my-dear-symphony:
“ ohhigabby:
“ if you don’t get this, we are not from the same generation…
”
MY JAW LITERALLY DROPPED AND I ADMIT TO SQUEALING LOUDLY IN A INHUMAN NOISE
”

yalla-ya-habibi:

Before you laugh and make fun of someones accent or mistakes when they speak english please take a moment to realize that you can actually learn alot about their language by their mistakes for example
When I was I denmark I noticed alot of danes say “ I will learn you ” instead of saying I will teach you because teach and learn is the same thing in danish
Also arabs when they speak english they often say “ beeebol ” instead of “ people ” or “ bebzi ” instead of “ Pepsi ” because the letter P doesn’t exist in the arabic alphabet
Theres always something to learn when you stop being an ignorant piece of shit

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